Ella's birth story

This was written in my journal on July 14, 2016 at Emerson Hospital in Concord, MA. I thought I would record it here as well, in case our house burns down some day.

Our sweet little Ella Jane has arrived!! He was born on Sunday, July 10, 2016 at 8:39 pm, weighed 7 lbs 6 oz and measured 20" tall. What a joy. I wanted to try and write down her birth story before I go home and life gets crazy :)

I couldn't have asked for a better pregnancy. For the first 3-4 months I felt sick, as usual, but never to the point of throwing up. I was still able to function and at least go through the motions, although I felt exhausted much of the day, and especially in the evening. But going into the second trimester and through the remainder of the pregnancy, I felt very strong and had few aches and pains, even at the end. I made sure to workout several times a week, lifting weights, cycling, swimming and working out on the elliptical. I think staying in shape helped more than anything, as I was able to keep my muscles strong, and my body was able to carry the extra weight without too much trouble. I was still winded after walking up a flight of stairs and couldn't walk very fast or far at the end, but I had very little backache or soreness and was able to keep up with the kids and our daily routine.

Through the first half of this pregnancy I was very nervous and anxious thinking about the actual labor and delivery. The last two, Will and Sam, had come so unexpectedly fast. We had just barely made it to the hospital with both of them. I had done a lot of the intense laboring in the car, and with Will, had even started pushing in the car. It had been extremely uncomfortable moving from the car into a room in the hospital and the whole experience was a bit stressful. So thinking about how this delivery would be did cause some anxiety. Would Pete be able to make it home from work and get me to the hospital in time if I were to go into labor during the day? Who would watch the kids if my mom wasn't in town yet? What would happen if I was alone at home with the kids and went into intense labor with no one around to help me? What if the baby was born in the car? Should I keep a blanket in the car just in case? And then there was the pain and intensity of it all. Could my body really know what to do? Would my uterus still be strong enough to push out a 6th baby? Did I really have to do this? I knew I didn't want an epidural, but I was absolutely dreading the alternative.

Thankfully I was able to calm myself down and start thinking more positively as I entered the third trimester. Pete's sister Sarah suggested reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, which was full of positive, natural birth stories and what happens to your body during labor and delivery. I also listened to many hours of podcasts on pregnancy and labor and delivery and had Pete give me a blessing. So after much pondering, reading, listening and praying, I truly felt ready emotionally, mentally and spiritually for this baby to be born. No matter when she came, how she came and where she came, I felt at peace that it would be ok and that my body was strong and fully capable to do this yet again.

I finally went into labor on Sunday afternoon, July 10th, 2 days after my mom arrived (thank goodness!) and 8 days before my due date. The whole labor and delivery was shockingly peaceful. Pete had given me a blessing just a couple days before, that left me with this thought: Just as Christ had gone through with his suffering because of His love for us, I could be ready to do what was necessary to get this baby girl here because of my love for her. I knew it would be hard, but I was willing to do it for her.

My contractions started slow, around 2 pm, but I immediately recognized them as labor contractions. We had all gone to church that morning, and were now home getting ready to eat. I told mom and Pete that I was having some contractions and that I thought the baby might be born that day. I was more excited than anything, and we continued with the afternoon like normal, ate dinner together, Pete played with the kids and turned on the Portugal vs. France European Championship soccer game, and mom sent me upstairs to rest while she cleaned up. For 3 hours my contractions were about 10-20 minutes apart and I was able to walk through them or stand up and sway. I tried to rest in bed and even sleep, but I was too excited and eventually worried that laying down might slow down the contractions. So I got up and cleaned mine and the kids rooms, got my hospital bags all ready, changed into the clothes I wanted to labor in (a comfortable skirt, sports bra and tank top) and came downstairs to be with everyone. I called the hospital who paged the doctor on call, and I told him I was in labor but that it was moving slowly. He told me to just call when I was on my way to the hospital and he would come over. I had been seeing a practice with 3 midwives for my prenatal care. Normally it would have been one of them on call, but since it was a weekend, Dr. Rubin would deliver the baby. At first I was a little bummed, but he sounded really nice on the phone and I wasn't too worried.

I kept walking around and started getting a little antsy. The contractions were still 10-15 minutes apart, so I asked if anyone wanted to go for a walk outside with me. Soon after that I was walking through the family room and my water broke, right after Portugal scored a goal :) It wasn't a huge amount of fluid, but enough to run down both legs and puddle in my sandals. I announced that my water broke and ran upstairs to rinse off. (I think the kids were a bit confused, oh well!) At this point it seemed wise to go to the hospital. Pete had everything in the car, so we gave the kids hugs, said our goodbyes and headed over! We made it to the hospital without me having any contractions in the car (hallelujah!), and got checked in. Contractions were still 10-15 minutes apart and fairly mild. Pete and I kept looking at each other, saying how strange this was. This labor was nothing like the last 2!

An hour or so passed with contractions I could breathe through (I would slowly breathe air out through my mouth, take a quick breath back in through my nose, then slowly exhale and repeat until the contraction passed.) Pete massaged my hands with peppermint lotion in between contractions, which was a nice distraction. The hospital had a birthing ball, so I decided to try sitting on that, and I never got off. In between contractions I circled around on it as I sat and it felt like a massage on my hips. When contractions started coming with more intensity, I put my hands on my legs, closed my eyes, bowed my head down, and eventually started humming through the contractions. It felt like I was meditating, letting out a long deep "hmmmmmm..." over and over until the contraction was through, then ending with a long exhale, all the while thinking about my cervix opening up and the baby getting lower. I tried hard to work with my body and let it do what it needed to do, but felt very in control at the same time. As contractions grew more intense my closed mouth "hummmm..." turned into a low-pitched "uuuuhhhh...", but I still felt like the pressure and intensity were manageable. I felt like I needed to pee, so went and sat on the toilet and immediately had a contraction and felt like the baby's head was really starting to bear down. When I was done and got up I was barely able to waddle back over to the ball. Pete held my hand as every step took effort. I felt extremely uncomfortable. I then resumed my position on the ball, and within a couple more contractions my body started pushing. I knew it was close, but the pushing contractions took me a little by surprise. I was expecting to go through "transition" and get a short break before the pushing started, but my body went straight from an intense contraction to pushing. Pushing while sitting on the ball was almost unbearable. The ball was pushing up and the baby was pushing down, but I couldn't move during the contraction. My "uuuuhhhh..."'s grew much louder and I quickly told the nurse that I thought I was ready to push. As soon as I could move I took my skirt off and crawled onto the bed onto my hands and knees, in the same position I delivered Sam and Will. I felt completely removed from everyone else, and in my own little world and knew the end was near. The nurse asked a couple times if I wanted the doctor to check me and see if I was at a 10. My first answer was "what?" Then "what did you say?" And I never answered, my brain couldn't process the question, or at least couldn't generate a response. Before I knew it, my body was pushing again, I was yelling with my face smothered in the pillow, and I could feel my perineum start to stretch. Meanwhile Pete was reassuring me by telling me how well I was doing and cheering me on, which helped a lot. After one series of pushes there was a short break. With the next series of pushes and a lot more yelling into the pillow, I was able to push out the head, quickly followed by the body. And then the relief!! And what a relief it was. I was so happy to have our baby girl here. The doctor immediately handed me the baby through my legs, then I rolled onto my back so I could snuggle with this sweet babe. She was beautiful and perfect. What a miracle. Truly, a miracle.