Life

I like to do this every so often, just write about what's going on in my life right now.  It's kind of therapeutic, and I want to remember what life was like with a resident husband and four little ones at home.

Four kids has been quite the jump from three.  It has certainly pushed me to my limits and stretched me more than I ever thought it would.  My mom always said that having 4 kids is when she felt like she was always busy, always having to do something.  I have felt the same.  Sometimes I finally get the kids in bed and look back at my day and am almost shocked at how busy and how much work it was.  Some days go smoothly and some I'm just barely surviving, but all are a lot of work.  But it's a work that is so rewarding and that (most of the time) I love doing.  These kids are so dear to me, and wouldn't rather be spending my time and energy on anything else.

Probably the hardest thing for me since Will has joined our family, is not being able to give each child (and Pete) the time that I would like to.  I am slowly learning how to be more efficient with my time so that I can better meet the needs and some of the wants of all the kids, but it's still hard.  When I have a fussy baby in one arm and am cooking dinner with the other, it's nearly impossible to sit down and read that book that Joe is asking me to read to him.  Even though my heart yearns for it and I so badly want to.  If nothing else, I suppose the kids are learning to be patient.

Will turns 1 next month, I can hardly believe it.  I don't really think of him as my baby anymore, he's growing into a little boy.  He has been the sweetest kid, my heart still melts every time I look at him.  I hate to brag, but I am by far his favorite person in the world right now :)  He smiles every time he sees me and generally likes to stay within about 5 feet of me.  I can probably count on 2 hands the number of times I've left him with someone other than Pete.  I generally take him with me every where I go.  When there's someone else watching the kids, I feel better about leaving 3 little boys than I do about leaving 3 little boys and a baby.  So Will and I continue to be joined at the hip.  I'm still nursing him 3-4 times a day, which is much longer than any of the other kids (all the others I stopped around 6 months).  I've tried a bottle several times, but he's never taken to it.  He's just now started to drink a little bit from a sippy cup, which gives me hope that he'll continue to survive once he's weaned.

Will has slept through the night a total of 3 times since he was born, 2 of those times being in the last week.  But everyone has a different definition of "sleeping through the night." Normally he'll go to bed between 7 and 8, wake up at 5:30 to nurse, then go back to sleep until 7:30 or so.  To me, "sleeping through the night" would be dropping that 5:30 am feeding.  But honestly, I don't really mind it.  I still get a solid chunk of sleep every night, and I look forward to being alone with Will when all is calm, peaceful and quiet.  If I'm feeling up to it, sometimes I'll stay up after that and work out or catch up on other things before the kids wake up.

I love the stage Will is at.  He'll smile at me from across the room while the other kids are fighting, calling names or talking back to me, and I can't help but smile back at him.  My nicknames for him are "sweet" and "angel" because that's what he is.  The other kids are so good to him too.  They all talk to him in these high, sweet voices.  They all love to hug him and kiss him.  John will often sneak into Will's room when I'm in there putting him to sleep.  He'll sing a song to Will with me, read a book with us and rub Will's head after I lay him down in the crib.  When Will wakes up Dan likes to get in the crib with him and wrestle with him.  Roll him around, lay him on his belly and hug him.  And Joe will often tell me to put Will down on the floor so he can play with him.  He likes to build towers for Will and then have him knock them over.  Will is the peacemaker in the family.  I'm just sure he's going to be my first child who never fights, calls names or talks back to me.

Joe is now almost 3 1/2 and does what probably most 3 1/2 year olds do.  Screaming and throwing tantrums is not uncommon for this boy.  Especially when we're in public.  Kids at that age seem to be oblivious to everyone around them.  We could be in a room full of people and that certainly wouldn't stop him from shouting out what he wants or doesn't want.  All of that said, Joe really is a pretty good kid.  He isn't destructive and doesn't get into things he shouldn't.  He loves to dance and make people laugh.  When the attention is on him, he gets this glow in his eyes that I hope I never forget.  He idolizes his older brothers, especially Dan, since that is who he is with all day.  He copies his every word and every move.  I have to keep reminding Dan of this.  We were having meatballs a couple nights ago, and Dan started moaning about it and saying he didn't like meatballs.  I quickly shushed Dan in hopes that Joe hadn't heard.  Joe ended up eating 6 of them.  And then yesterday I told Joe he needed to take a nap.  Dan asked if he had to take one, and I told him he didn't.  So Dan, of course, started making a big deal about it, rubbing it in, and Joe started complaining about it and telling me he wasn't going to take a nap.  So I convinced Dan to pretend like he was going to take a nap, and I didn't hear another word from Joe.

Joe was born 5 weeks early and seemed to have a slow start developmentally, not crawling until 11 months, not walking until 17 months, and not talking until just before 2 years.  But I'm happy to say that he has made a comeback, our worries can be pushed aside.  He has learned all his letters and sounds, can count to 20, is beginning to write letters by himself and seems to have an excellent memory.  Maybe those who start slow end up being even smarter in the end :)

Joe is still in the middle of potty-training.  Man oh man, he has been so difficult.  We first tried last April, then again in September.  I had him in underwear for a whole month, tried various things, then finally gave up after cleaning up 5-8 accidents a day.  So it was a new year's resolution of mine to potty-train him successfully.  We started on January 1st at the ripe old age of 3 years and 3 months.  After a week or so of numerous accidents I decided to go to pull-ups.  I had always been anti-pull-ups and thought it was silly that people would use diaper-like underwear to potty-train a kid.  John and Dan wore underwear/nothing for a week, caught on and never looked back.  And they've always stayed dry during the night and during naps.  Joe has been an entirely different animal.  So yes, we used pull-ups, and are still using pull-ups, and I am happy to say they are working.  After a month of potty-training, he finally started telling me when he needed to pee.  Success!  We're still working on #2, that's a whole other story.  Instead of stopping everything and focusing on Joe's potty issues, only to get frustrated about it, I've decided to continue my life and try to gently push Joe in the right direction, letting him go at his own pace.  I guess sometimes I'm not so gentle, but I'm trying not to let it get to me.  We all learn eventually, right?

Dan has survived the toddler years (or we have survived his toddler years) and is moving quickly into boyhood.  He has been going to a co-op preschool and has absolutely loved it.  I go in twice a month to help with the class and swap kids with another mom.  It's really fun to be in the classroom and watch Dan interact and learn.  He loves his teacher, Mrs. Joan, and is more than ready for Kindergarten.  Originally I wasn't going to do preschool, until I learned that the elementary school was switching to all-day Kindergarten.  So we're doing preschool to try to help with the transition.  I think Dan will do just fine.

Dan is our physical touch person.  He loves to wrestle, snuggle, hug, kiss, anything.  Dan can forgive and forget in the blink of an eye.  Sometimes after I scold him for something, he'll be really upset, then will start crying and will immediately want a hug.  I'll be really upset too, and definitely not ready for a hug, so it's all I can do to actually give him one.  But it's usually a short one so I can finish blowing off my steam.  Dan's still sucking his middle 2 fingers on his left hand.  Sucks them in his sleep and throughout the day.  I've tried several things to try to get him to stop, but haven't really stuck with anything long enough.  He'll turn 5 in 5 days, and I keep telling him that that will be the end of his finger sucking.  5-year olds don't suck their fingers.  John then told us that someone in his class sucks those same fingers.  I asked him if anyone ever says anything to that person, and John said no, he's just noticed.  Well that didn't help anything.

If Dan could have it his way, he'd play games on the computer or on my phone all day long (I hate to even admit that).  But he certainly doesn't get his way and I try to limit the games to educational games or games that will at least teach him something.  Dan has already written a letter to Santa for next Christmas that says "Dear Santa, I want a DS.  From, Dan"  He has it in an envelope with a stamp and everything.  And he keeps asking me how long until Christmas.  We keep dropping hints that Santa might not bring him what he wants.  A couple days ago John piped up and looked at Dan and said, "Santa will bring you whatever you want."  I guess we have 10 months to either convince Dan he wants something else or to break the news to him that we will not be buying him a DS.  I mean Santa will not be bringing him one :)  Pete and I have decided to stay away from game systems (at least for now) and there are many other things we would rather spend our time and money on.  (A good article here.)  All of that said, Dan loves doing things outside as well.  We took him downhill skiing for the first time this year and he loved it.  Really he loves doing anything outside, sometimes he just needs a gentle nudge to get there.  We have also gone cross-country skiing with him and John multiple times, and he has really taken to that.

John is our snow boy.  That kid loves the snow, and everything that goes along with it.  The cold, the ice, the gear, building snow forts, skiing, sledding, shoveling, everything.  He recently told me that shoveling snow was his favorite thing to do in the snow.  Even more than sledding or making snow forts.  When we talk about Spring getting closer he puts on a sad face and says that he doesn't want it to get warm.  He wants it to stay cold and he wants more snow.  It rained a few days ago and melted the snow, and when John woke up and looked outside he almost started crying.  Then he wrote a sign that said, "Make it snow right now!" and hung it up.  Maybe that made him feel a little better.  There were quite a few mornings when new snow has fallen where John hurried through breakfast so he could get out and play before the bus came.  Then he'd come home only to walk straight back outside and continue playing.

I've been teaching John to play the piano for about a year now.  We normally practice for 30 minutes right when he gets home from school.  Now that it's part of our routine he's progressing quickly, although it was kind of a slow start with the birth of the baby and traveling over the summer.  I'll be starting Dan when he starts Kindergarten.  I'm so grateful to have a piano and to be able to have music in our home.  Joe keeps telling me he wants to play the violin.  We'll see if that sticks, I would have so much fun teaching him.

John's playing basketball for the first time this winter.  He's slowly catching on.  I think he'll like it more and more as he gets better and gains confidence.  But he definitely likes soccer more, him and Dan keep asking when soccer is going to start.

John is the sweetest kid, I am so happy to have him as the oldest.  He's a great example to his younger brothers.  John was born with a desire and ability to work.  It's not uncommon for him to ask if he can unload the dishwasher, wash the dishes, help fold the laundry, help clean the car, shovel the driveway, etc.  He's very good with numbers and math, and his reading is coming along.  He tells me his favorite parts of school are recess, lunch and gym.  Of course.  I've been able to help in his class every Thursday for 1 hour.  After not helping in his class last year even once (I hardly recognized his teacher when I saw her at the end of the year), I decided things needed to change.  It has been so much fun to be in there with all those first graders and see John as a student.  He has a great teacher, Mrs. Barbieri, who seems to know each student so well.  John really looks forward to me coming in each week which makes all the effort it takes to get there worth it.  Dan and Joe go to a friends house and Will comes with me and I wear him on my back.  Being at the peak of his separation anxiety, it's easiest just to take him with me.  He surprisingly stays pretty quiet as I go from student to student.  I'm always sure to have a few toys I can hand back to him or a couple crackers if he starts fussing.  The kids are getting more used to him so it's not as much of a distraction as it used to be.

Pete continues to work hard and play hard.  He's nearing the end of the second year of his psychiatry residency.  His work load varies, as he starts a new rotation at the beginning of each month.  The month of January was great.  He had weekends off and worked from about 8 am - 5:30 or 6 pm.  This month is not so great.  He's had to work a couple Saturdays and doesn't normally get home until 7 or 7:30, often bringing home notes to write after the kids are in bed.  But overall, this second year hasn't been too bad.

This has been a much better winter than last.  We've had a few storms that dropped enough snow to at least play in.  Pete and I have had a babysitter come over a couple times so we could go ski the Potawatomi Trail.  We celebrated our 12-year first date anniversary last weekend, and went up there to ski a 6 mile loop.  It was heaven.  A full 3-4 inches of powder :)  Having a houseful of kids and having to make the effort to get a babysitter makes getting out together and doing things we love to do feel that much more rewarding.  Since we can't do it very often I feel like I have to enjoy every minute.  As we drove to the trail, I commented on the fact that we were still using the same car I had 12 years earlier.  And then noticed Pete had the same thermal underwear, same vest, same snow pants, same skis and the same backpack as we had 12 years ago as well.  We clearly haven't spent much money updating our outdoor gear.  Or our furniture, cars, or clothing for that matter.  Instead, all our money has gone towards bringing these 4 little boys into the world.  And I'll tell you, they don't come cheap!  But I certainly wouldn't trade them for a nice new car, new skis, a bigger house, better gear, or any of the other things I sometimes wish we could buy.

It has been hard living away from family in many ways.  We miss seeing our parents and siblings often and I definitely miss having more help with the kids.  But being on our own has forced Pete and me to rely solely on each other and has strengthened our relationship in so many ways.  I'm so happy I get to be on this adventure with him.  Pete is an amazing husband and father, these boys don't know how lucky they are.  Pete loves to wrestle with them, chase them, play games with them, read to them and do everything there is to do outside with them.  The kids keep us busy, and at times life can feel a bit chaotic and overwhelming, but I would say overall life is pretty good right now. We're living the dream.