All or nothing

I was pretty much sick during the whole month of September and didn't do one ounce of exercise... I take that back, I did a 20 minute hike with Pete and the kids, had a cough attack at the top and all the way back down and was completely exhausted the rest of the day. I'm not sure what I had. It started out by taking away my energy and appetite, then morphed into a headache and congestion, then turned into a never ending cough that eventually made me have some severe back pain. I couldn't even turn over in bed and cringed whenever I picked up one of the kids. Needless to say, after this was over I was SO grateful to have my health back. Exercise has always been a big part of my life, but something unexpected (and kind of scary) happened after not doing anything physical for 4 weeks (except for chasing kids around and constantly carrying a 20 lb. weight on my hip)... I didn't mind not exercising! Every morning I would wake up, take a shower, get dressed, and be ready to go for the day. No worrying about when I was going to go running, when I would have to wake up to get it in, how I would fit all 3 kids in the stroller, how I could get the kids distracted enough for me to do 30 minutes of Tae Bo... there was none of that! But once I started feeling better and I could move around without my back killing me, there was a part of me that that wanted to get in shape again. But as I've only been running 2 or 3 times a week and not enjoying it all that much, I realized (or had reaffirmed) something about myself... I've become an all or nothing kind of person. In more ways than one. For good or for bad. I'm happy doing no exercise, and I'm happy exercising 5 times a week and being in really good shape, but exercising mildly 2 or 3 times a week just doesn't do it for me. The last few marathons I've done, I've made a training schedule for myself, fairly intense, and stuck with it to the T and met my goals. I don't think I could ever just mildly train, finish, but not finish with a good time. Finishing isn't enough for me. I have to finish well. I know Pete's been frustrated with my efforts to water the garden this year. I never made it part of my daily routine. I looked at the garden many times, and still do, and thought to myself that I should probably water it. But I couldn't bring myself to water it just every once in while. I either had to do it every day or not at all. So unfortunately for Pete I, without really thinking about it, chose to never water it. And our tomato plants are now pretty much dead, despite Pete's efforts in his busy schedule. I could go on and on, but it seems this "all or nothing" trait is somehow taking over me. It's certainly a weakness as well as a strength. So we'll see what happens with my exercise habits... in a month I'll probably be ready to race and compete and possibly get my best time in a 5k or won't be able to jog a mile. Either way I'll be happy : )