I've been waiting to write this post until I had finished the first trimester of pregnancy, thinking it would be hard to describe or explain what life has been like without including how I've been feeling or my lack of energy. But now I'm afraid I have forgotten a lot of the details of these last four months. It makes me excited and sad at the same time to think how quickly life is passing by. Excited to see my kids growing and learning, Christmas getting closer, the pregnancy getting further along and me feeling better, and our family being able to enjoy a long Christmas break with family in Seattle. And at the same time, sad to see this time when the kids are young passing so fast. I often feel like life can't get much more challenging than it is right now, but also can't imagine it getting much better than it is right now. It really is a great time of life, having so much to look forward to and so much to enjoy right at this moment, even if it can seem busy and chaotic at times.
I'm happy to have made it through the first trimester of this pregnancy. This pregnancy has been much more difficult than my previous ones (so of course everyone is quick to suggest this baby must be a girl). There were many mornings I would get John and Dan off to school, then crash on the couch with dishes all over and Joe and Will fending for themselves, finally getting myself and the little ones out of our pajamas by mid afternoon. For 4-5 of the hardest weeks (I say "hardest," but I do realize this pregnancy doesn't even compare to some people's... so for that I am grateful) I couldn't make it through the day without a nap. Literally. I tried one time to push through the afternoon and get a few things done and spend some one on one time with Joe while Will napped, but by the time John and Dan got home from school I felt like I had hit a brick wall and couldn't stay on my feet. Of course that's the time when everyone needs something, so I opted not to try that again. By week 11 or 12 I could finally make it through the day without napping. Nights were and still are the hardest. About an hour after dinner, every day without fail, I started to feel pretty sick, but thankfully never to the point of throwing up. Sometimes it was accompanied by a headache, my ears almost always hurt, and the later it got the worse I felt. I often fell asleep soon after the kids went to bed, and therefore left a lot undone. Dinner dishes would still be sitting out, laundry piling up, bills unpaid and the house a mess. I was able to get the essentials done during the day, but that's about it. When Fall was about over I remember thinking back at what we had done, Fall being one of my favorite seasons in Michigan, and sadly realized that we had not made it out much. I survived the Fall, but certainly did not thrive. It was really hard to feel excited about having another baby when I was feeling like this. When finding out I was pregnant, many people exclaimed, "How exciting!" I would smile and nod my head, but I was feeling anything but excited, thinking about the next 6 or 7 months I would have to endure. Well, thankfully, at about 13 or 14 weeks, things started getting better. I no longer felt overly exhausted all the time, or felt like I was going to pass out if I didn't eat every 2 hours. And I didn't have to run through 50 things in my head before thinking of something that sounded good to eat. Needless to say, I am glad to be well into the second trimester. And I am now feeling excited and looking forward to bringing another baby into our home.
We have continued to sell shirts in our Etsy shop, The Blue Basket Shop. We added 2 more products this Fall, the Alphabet Tracing Shirt and the Train Play Shirt. It literally took all the energy I could muster to get these shirts designed, pictures taken, and up for sale. Selling shirts has given us a way to make some extra money to pay for traveling and other expenses but has been a lot of work that, unfortunately, most of the time I dread. When you're not feeling well at night and have a list of about 10 other things you'd like to do/need to do while the kids are asleep, it's not very fun to remember that you have 20 shirts you need to ship. But really I shouldn't complain. Pete has helped every step of the way and it does feel good to be promoting something we both feel passionately about: parents interacting with their kids in creative and meaningful ways.
Right now we're in Seattle with the whole Marcum clan for the holidays (which is why this post is lacking pictures... I may try to add some in later). Every single person was able to come, for a total of 12 adults and 8 kids. Us from Michigan, Justin and Brittney from Texas, Steve and Jess from Boston and Andrew from St. George. It's been so much fun to be with everyone, and there is a bit of magic in the air as the kids anticipate Christmas morning. The kids and I flew out a week before Christmas, and Pete joined us a couple days later. It was actually really nice to be forced to get all of my Christmas shopping, planning, wrapping and making done before coming out here. We have all been able to relax and enjoy the time together without the hustle and bustle and busyness that often accompanies Christmas time.
A few days before flying out here, it finally snowed at home in Michigan. We had had a few
"storms" that dropped about 1 cm of snow, but this time we got about 5-6 inches, which is the most I've seen it snow since we've been there. The kids were so excited, especially John. He shoveled the driveway and sidewalk more than a few times and got Dan to build a big fort on the back deck with him. Pete went out with him the next day and they built an even bigger fort in the backyard. Pete took the kids sledding the Saturday before we left, in the frigid 20 or even below temperature. Will was sick, so I stayed home. The kids came home with wind-burned, rosy cheeks, and huge smiles on their faces. Pete suggested him and I try to go cross-country skiing before we took off, so Monday night we found a babysitter, dropped everything and headed out for the Potowatami Trail, our favorite single track trail, in the dark. It was overcast, but just enough light to see, and absolutely beautiful and peaceful. We skied for almost 2 hours and I was absolutely beat by the end. I'm hoping for many more storms like this one.
John and Dan are both enjoying school. John has Ms. Budd and Dan has Ms. Cook. On Wednesdays I go in for a couple hours in the morning and help in their respective classes. I love seeing them at school. They are such cute kids. A little quiet, confident and polite, both of them. I swap kids with a couple other moms in our ward, so I'm able to go into the school for 2 weeks in a row, then take my turn watching all the kids. John and Dan continue to both practice piano before school. It's been really fun to see them improve and learn new songs. Practicing isn't always smooth, there are tears at least once a week, mostly from John, out of frustration, but we push through it. I had them do a little Christmas recital for the Marcum family, and I think they both liked performing their pieces. And liked the praise they received afterwards, of course.
I have loved my time at home alone with Joe and Will. Mornings are kind of crazy, getting everyone fed, piano practiced, bundled up and off to school, but once John and Dan are gone the house quiets down quite a bit and I'm able to give more attention to Joe and Will. They're starting to play more with each other and seem to enjoy having each other as playmates. Joe gets a chance to be the big brother and man of the house. They both love to help make cookies. Will likes to stand on a stool and play with water in the sink and also likes to get everything out of every cupboard in the kitchen. He leaves a trail of things scattered about everywhere he goes. He sometimes hits or throws things at people without being provoked, but will also go up and rub his brothers' back if they're sad or crying. He still loves markers and loves to draw on walls, the floor, the couch, himself, whatever. We try to keep all art supplies out of his reach. Will still isn't saying much, at 21 months. He finally started saying "mama" a couple months ago, which makes me happy. He sure tries to talk though. He'll often mumble out something as if he's trying to tell me something in a full sentence, but I can't understand any of it. His chubby cheeks and sweet face make my heart melt every time I look at him. It's probably good he's not going to be the youngest, because I think I would give him everything he ever asked for if he was. We do discipline him when needed, but it's not easy for me. Will LOVES stuffed animals and soft blankets. He'll often bring me a blanket and will want me to wrap him up and hold him and he'll lay his head on my shoulder. If he's tired he'll lay his head on my shoulder too. He still loves me to hold him, and I love to hold him (most of the time), so it's a win-win. I don't know if I should hold him as much as I can before the baby comes, or if I should try to back off a little so it's not such a shock for him when I'm holding someone else all the time.
Joe has adjusted to life in a quieter home during the day and seems to love having his alone time. He can play with a just a few simple toys for an hour or two and has a great imagination. He'll have a favorite toy for a few days and will want to take it in the car, to bed, wherever he goes, and then will move on when he's tired of it. He enjoys sitting down by himself and looking through each page of a book. He often won't move until he's finished every last page. His ability to self-entertain was essential during the many weeks I was napping every day. Joe still sounds like he has some sort of accent. It kind of sounds English and is fairly high pitched, and I love it. Joe loves puzzles and listening to music. And he's a good big brother to Will. A couple times when we've had other kids over to play, the friend has done something to Will, and Joe will cry out, "Don't do that to my baby brother!" and will stand between Will and the friend.
Dan still loves Legos and has a great imagination as well. Him and Joe love to play make believe with cars, Legos, trains, whatever toy or thing that is around. A couple weeks ago they found a bunch of clips that can hold small stacks of papers together, and spent the next few days pretending they were people and having them do all sorts of things. He likes to draw, is good at writing very neat letters, and has become a very good reader. He picks things up very quickly. I haven't really had to sit down with him and teach him his letters and numbers, he has just picked them up from observing and listening and can read a lot of words I would never think he could read. Almost a year ago we were having him read a couple verses in the Book of Mormon and he read the word "Jerusalem" without even hesitating. Pete and I joked that that was his first sight word. He is the same with the piano. After running through a song once or twice, he's got it memorized. I have to force him to look at the music as he plays, because I really want him to be able to sight read, in addition to playing things from his head, because that seems to come easily for him. I love Dan's laugh. He has a laugh that makes you laugh. For good or for bad, he seems to think letting burps and stinkers are hilarious. When he lets a stinker he'll quickly say, "I let a toot!" and laugh at it. It must be a boy thing.
John is just a sweetie. While he can be a tease to his brothers at times, most of the time he is overly loving, inclusive and sensitive. Sometimes when I am being extra hard on someone and talking in a not-so-nice voice, John will realize what's going on and will see that I am clearly not getting through to them and will come over and talk in his sweet, persuasive voice to try to help stop their behavior or whatever it is. And it usually works. He loves to work hard, especially when it involves physical labor. Shoveling, vacuuming, washing the car, weeding, and pretty much any chore outside, come very easily to him. In fact he looks forward to it. He'll sometimes tell me, "I love to work!" He also loves physical activity. Playing in the snow, jumping on the tramp, running, doing family track workouts, riding his bike, hiking, swimming, whatever it might be. He often instigates working out in the house. He'll use the weights to work out his arms, do many many laps around the kitchen, stop and do sit-ups, push ups and mountain climbers, then start the rotation again. Dan and Joe will often jump in on the workout. If we ever have a real home gym, it will be put to good use, I'm sure. John is really good at following directions. He loves to put together complex Legos using the instructions and has recently gotten into Rainbow Loom bracelet making. A lot of his friends at school do it too, so that makes me feel a little better about him making bracelets :) He was given a list of 10 bracelets to complete to pass off the beginner level of the Rainbow Loom Club at a nearby toy store, and came home, looked up every bracelet on YouTube and completed each and every one, all on his own.
This Fall Pete was busy deciding where to apply for a Child Psychiatry fellowship, finishing his applications and doing interviews. He ended up applying to and interviewing at the University of Utah, Michigan, Boston Children's Hospital and Massachusetts General Hospital. Pete's parents came out to stay with the kids in October so I could go out with Pete when he interviewed in Boston. We stayed with my brother, Steve and his wife Jess and baby Clara who are living there right now (but moving in January! So sad they won't be there if we end up there). Pete felt good about his interviews there, and I enjoyed scoping out the city with Jess and Clara. It would surely be a big change for our family if we moved to this big city! I have grown quite fond of our little town in Michigan, surrounded by farm land and open space. It would obviously be great to be in Utah near family, and if we stayed in Michigan we could smoothly continue life as it is. So we've got three good options, I feel like I could genuinely be excited about any of them. We'll find out near the beginning of January where we will go. The baby's due in the first week of June, and if we move it would be at the end of June, so it's sure to be a busy time!
1 comment:
Thanks for sharing all these great insights into your sweet family.
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